the hardest/easiest goal ever

This first week of school has been like nothing I’ve ever experienced.

Most people, at the start of the school year, set goals for themselves. To do well in a class, stay organized, or any number of other things. I’ve done the same thing, for years on end. Sometimes I would succeed, others I wouldn’t. But this year I’ve chosen to try something different, and I think it might be my loftiest goal of all.

My goal is to be happy. It’s that simple, yet also that hard.

365 days ago, I was going into my freshman year of high school. And let me say, I was not in a good place. Over the summer, my issues with depression, among other things, had come to light, and I had been struggling with them especially hard. I was going into freshman year terrified. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, how I was going to cope, and I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, tucked away in my backpack somewhere.

Obviously, I survived, but not without some speed bumps. I gained and lost friends, excelled in some areas and failed in others. But at the end of they year, I was in a much better place than where I was when I started. I’d found some things I enjoyed, became closer with people, and worked through some of the depression I mentioned previously. Going into summer, I knew my problems hadn’t gone away, but they had certainly gotten a  lot lighter. Now, instead of carrying around the world, I was probably closer to only carrying around North America.

But this summer was life-changing. I found some things I loved to do, I occupied my time, and I became a completely different person in regards to my religion. It’s really been something amazing, because after some experiences with my church it was as if my problems suddenly didn’t exist. I was still carrying a lot of weight, but I found some people to carry it with me, and to show me that everything would be alright in the end. My faith was rekindled, and I just felt a drive to be a better person.

So going into this week, I set myself the goal of happiness for the entire year. I knew I would have my ups and downs, but overall I just hoped I would be content with where I was at the end of the year. A week in, and I think I’m on the path to achieving it.

I’ve found some things I love. Student government is one of my big passions. I just love all the people in it, everyone is so amazingly kind, and we’re getting to make a difference in the school and community. It just fills my heart with happiness. I’ve also worked on my love for writing by joining the school newspaper, and I absolutely love having a bell every day in which I can just enjoy the power of words and journalism. I look forward to these things every single day.

I’ve occupied my time. I’m always trying to find things to do now, whether it’s working, being in extracurriculars, or just hanging out with my friends. Time just goes by so faster when you have those things to fill your day I may be busy, but I don’t feel busy, because I love all the things I’m doing. And I’m making sure I’m productive, instead of binge-watching tv shows all the time.

And I’ve changed my outlook on things. My change in faith has really made me more convicted. I don’t see going to church as a chore, or just a place to hang out with my friends. I really just want to learn, and try and find my way in this mess of a world I’m living in. This has meant I’ve tried to be a better person. I’ve been more positive, I’ve smiled more often, and complimented people a whole lot. Seeing that affect on others has made me a lot happier too.

This year has started off great, and even with my issues, I can say I’m fairly happy. I’ve decided that if I don’t get those perfect grades in my classes, it’s okay. Because it means when I could have been studying for  class I don’t really enjoy, I was off doing something I loved instead It doesn’t mean I won’t do my best, but a B is not a letdown. I can only hope that the rest of the school year I stay surrounded by such positive people and keep loving what I’m doing.

Happiness is obtainable, and it’s making my life so much better. And because of that, I think it’s the best goal I’ve ever set.

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